Each year, Chaba spends the summers back in South Africa. Six weeks without him leaves a hole for us, but we believe its important for him to stay connected to family, culture and language . What we weren’t expecting is that it would create a perspective that would allow him to see the richness in his life. He recently commented on how lucky he is, with so much family that loves him (on two continents), wonderful friends, a great home and community. Imagine our surprise.
Many people have asked me whether Chaba’s history has meant he is divided between two countries, two cultures, never feeling fully part of either. I feel he has somehow learned to move easily between both parts of his life and his identity, and by not holding things too tightly, has created something that is more than either one. His gratitude and persective have become some kind of yeast.
So for me, as someone with one foot in the future, always striving for what comes next, my son has become my teacher.
The first week back at work after the Christmas holidays are always a challenge. For me, this year’s challenge was about not diving in head first and trying to take everything on in the first five minutes. My tendency, as readers of the book will know, is to pack it in. With the “life’s short” belief floating in the back of my mind, I always try to get as much done as humanly possible but the downside is extreme fatigue come Christmas each year. In the last few years, I’ve felt very overwhelmed about going back to work in January, unsure if I would be able to keep up the same pace. Thankfully this year, we had a very relaxing holiday without that nagging doubt. In the past twelve months, I’ve moved into a role I really love, which is the perfect alignment of my values and behaviours. A friend of mine quotes an unknown wise soul who says that “stress is the mismatch between your values and your actions”, so when you’re feeling stressed, its not as simply as going through a difficult time, or working too hard; there is a mismatch somewhere. So whilst 2009 was a very busy year, there was a real alignment between my personal values and what I got to do each day which resulted in much less stress, despite the long hours.
So as I head back to work this year, there was none of the usual dread, which was such a refreshing change. So the environment has changed, allowing better alignment, and now the other thing to change is me. So my resolution this year is to leave some things to tomorrow, or even next week, and have a bit more balance in the day to day. Now that I’m working back in the not-for-profit sector, the temptation is to keep saying yes to things, as each thing makes a positive difference. So I need to remember that I can say yes, but that doesn’t have to mean yes I’ll do it today (that and a thousand other things), but yes, it can be done in the future. And I will have to throw a few no’s in there whilst I’m at it.
So putting my resolution in writing will hopefully keep me honest. The first week back has been a resounding success. Long may it last! But the best thing about my first week back was collecting Chaba from the airport after six weeks in South Africa visiting Teboho and the rest of the family. It’s so nice to have him home.
